Friday, July 24, 2009

Jester's Pantleg Cap

"Fools as we were in motley, all jangling and absurd"
-- The Man Who Was Thursday, Author's Note by G.K. Chesterton

Fools we are! But nothing is more foolish than being unable to laugh, and the Court Jester has always been a healthy remedy to Serious Royal Business. A jester needs a good head on his shoulders, else he might lose it altogether (or at least get a stern beating) -- making fun of the king is a high risk sort of job. Here at Pantleg Hat, we've got our own source of comic relief. This guy:


The Jester's Pantleg Cap lends a lighthearted air to the most dignified of expressions, and quickly sends the wearer into roiling hysterics. The audience cannot help but follow suit, I assure you. Haha -- look at him. Look at his face, hee, hoo, hoo! See how he capers about. Look at that floppy hat, is he some kinda puppy? No, no, just a fool. A fool for Pantleg Hats!

Traditionally the jester wore a three-cornered cap with bells on, but we've got no need for that kind of jingly jangly nonsense. >_< This is Serious Business. Now please excuse me; I have to whip my fool.


this is the place where
I was going to put a
picture of my father,
looking hatless and
unamused...
but he found that
unamusing

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Pantleg Xtreem

Last week, I returned from the waterfall at Niagara! I have been sitting in stunned silence ever since, but that ends TODAY. The Falls demand a witness, a tribute, a Pantleg Hat of their own. Something XTREEM enough to represent all 700,000 gallons per second, every second, forever. A hat that would make ol' Louis Hennepin (or one of the other five or six guys who totally first discovered the falls) proud. Clearly, we're talking about some kind of sporty headband!

This is the kind of hat you could wear as you sail fearlessly over the brink in a barrel. This is exactly what you need to shield your face from dripping bangs after a run across the Hurricane Deck (which you simply must try if you go to American Niagara). See how the hair cascades over the edges of the band like liquid thunder as we scream with the thrillz of it all? Just a reminder of the beauty and power of Creation, friend internetter. It's all around you!




P.S. Happy Fourth of July, 'merica! Remember, the best falls are on OUR side -- we just can't see 'em!