Monday, September 7, 2009

Pantleg Vigilante

Sometimes the law falls short of justice. Sometimes it goes too far. The situation gets desperate. The situation gets...personal.

Vigilantes have been taking the law into their own hands for, oh, ever since they had hands. Some, like lynch mobs, were an ugly business. Others, like Spiderman, have given hope and inspiration to millions of children.

Is vigilantism right? Wrong? Depends? Here at Pantleg Hat, we don't answer those kind of questions. We answer the second greatest question posed by would-be volunteer crimefighters..."What on earth shall I ever wear?"



Devastating. Absolutely devastating.

But now, with my new breakthrough, the answer is simple! Roll up your sleeves, roll up your pantleg, and jump off of rooftops in style.



Ne'er-do-wells will tremble when they see justice in your eyes. Streamlined and form-fitting, the Pantleg Vigilante Hat will protect your identity AND your tender skull, while leaving you free to perform all manner of completely necessary acrobatics. Commissioners will respect your resourcefulness and determined silhouette even as they resent your meddling. Leaves the mouth free for expressive scowling or triumphant laughter. Narrow eye slot creates a focused, penetrating look, yet offers perfect peripheral vision!



Just remember -- "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY" says the Lord. Revenge is never your right.

2 comments:

  1. Do I look like I have a pantleg bionic arm?

    Because I DO.

    ReplyDelete